Heartbreak can be pretty brutal. It downgrades the concept of your self worth and makes you feel like no one could ever understand. I recently went through this feeling. I won't sit here and say it was all the guys fault, because that is not far to him. I decided not to trust him. It was a choice I made because he hurt me in the past. I am not going to say it was all his fault that I didn't trust him, I am partially to blame. It is really hard for me to trust anyone, from friends to family. My brain processes things differently and it takes me longer to see when people are being honest, or when they are deceiving me. It all gets jumbled up..... Kind of like spaghetti.
When you get a fresh plate of that spaghetti with the meatballs and saucy deliciousness. You look at it and see this great meal. You see the heat waves radiating off the noodles and just want that food in your mouth. To the normal brain you are looking at a great meal that you are excited to eat. To my brain, that plate of spaghetti could be the most stressful activity of the whole day. I choose to see it as this perplexed spherical of food that has no beginning or end. Should I use a spoon, or a fork, or both? How much is too much? Can I finish what is on this plate? Am I going to get this on my shirt? I would hate to get a stain on my nice shirt. Maybe I should go change my shirt. I should have shirt for just food. That would be funny.
And thats my brain. It is different. Its processing capabilities are different. So I make a bad judgement call from time to time. But overall I have a pretty good head over my shoulders. So yes, I was heartbroken. It hurt. But now that I went through my spaghetti self thought, I am better. I wasn't the nicest while I was going through this. I was rude and avoiding the problem. Going through that has made me realize the person I was, am, and want to become.I do not regret the things I have done. Those choices have made me who I am. And I think I turned out pretty great. Sometimes as humans we have to understand that people grow and learn and think at different speeds. We can not be the same. It will never work that way, and the sooner we can get over that, the sooner that we can learn to accept people for who they are in the moment. Because thats all we need. People who will accept our flaws and forgive us for them.
When you get a fresh plate of that spaghetti with the meatballs and saucy deliciousness. You look at it and see this great meal. You see the heat waves radiating off the noodles and just want that food in your mouth. To the normal brain you are looking at a great meal that you are excited to eat. To my brain, that plate of spaghetti could be the most stressful activity of the whole day. I choose to see it as this perplexed spherical of food that has no beginning or end. Should I use a spoon, or a fork, or both? How much is too much? Can I finish what is on this plate? Am I going to get this on my shirt? I would hate to get a stain on my nice shirt. Maybe I should go change my shirt. I should have shirt for just food. That would be funny.
And thats my brain. It is different. Its processing capabilities are different. So I make a bad judgement call from time to time. But overall I have a pretty good head over my shoulders. So yes, I was heartbroken. It hurt. But now that I went through my spaghetti self thought, I am better. I wasn't the nicest while I was going through this. I was rude and avoiding the problem. Going through that has made me realize the person I was, am, and want to become.I do not regret the things I have done. Those choices have made me who I am. And I think I turned out pretty great. Sometimes as humans we have to understand that people grow and learn and think at different speeds. We can not be the same. It will never work that way, and the sooner we can get over that, the sooner that we can learn to accept people for who they are in the moment. Because thats all we need. People who will accept our flaws and forgive us for them.